Another day in paradise, not long now till be beat a retreat to the UK for the summer. Worked this morning writing and editing, my wife is top gun when it comes to syntax and punctuation.
Working on ‘A Touch of Class’ is not as easy as I thought in the sense that, I find the discipline of tense and person hard, the story limps along a bit because of all these stops and starts, ensuring I’ve got this sentence and that paragraph nicely bedded.
This morning I had a lot of interruptions, about a termite attack, and the plan to repulse the attack and what it will cost, plenty, I’m afraid.
I work on, determined to do my thousand words, edit and work on this wretched platform stuff, no time left to think about the next story.
I shall be glad when ‘The Psychedelic Traveler’ is finished, it might be today’s mood. but it has been a work I have enjoyed only in parts. Short stories need such a wealth themes and ideas, and yet they are finished so soon. This book is not like writing a novel where you see your idea grow, sometimes very slowly. With short stories, no sooner do I have the idea and it is finished and the necessity to find another is like a blister on your brain.
Then it will be time to think of Publishing, how? I’ve tried many ways, all of them fairly unsatisfactory. If I add to my daily chores, the pursuit of a useful agent, I will never have time to write anything worthwhile.
I sound like a manic depressive, I am not, it is just hard some times pushing myself to another thousand words, and worst of all admitting sometimes that those thousand words are shit. Occasionally of course they are not shit, they are lovely, glorious, they make me cry and laugh and smile. Then I think how lucky I am to suffer from this obsession to write.
I’ve just been reading some of my old poetry, it has been a good experience. I cried a lot – surprised sometimes that I had written such moving stuff. Maybe I should take a sabbatical and go back to it(poetry).
On BEING Seventy
Three score years and ten,
the end they say, my time is up!
My lurch into decrepitude lies unavoidably
beneath my uncertain feet.
Then downwards? Towards what end?
Hopefully to peace of mind and spirit.
Not hopelessly to hell, condemned by unforgiving diety
judging me as I probably deserve.
Bits are metaphorically falling off,
Arthritic fingers, and flaccid parts
The extremities that mattered,
matter less as days tick by.
But things do still matter,
My accomplished grumpy rudeness
threatens equanimity in others.
I must resist the gurgled satisfaction.
All the hours, days and seconds do matter,
as things rush to their inevitable end,
There are those I love and care about
Much more than anyone would guess.
Each ticking second is as much worth
as when I wailed, balling in my pram.
Others giggled and enjoyed my baby charms,
more innocent than my old acerbic wit.
Enjoy each remaining day,
Enchant the world with one’s experienced head and heart,
Be kind and mild, calm and quiet,
unlike the child, unlike the man.
So three score years and ten, is not the end!
It is a start to put so many rights and wrongs in place
and leave the dust of eternity untroubled
and of hearing laughs fade, and smiles melt sweetly away.