I understand Mr.Trump decide to go to war with Iran and then decided against it. Apparently someone tweeted that the move would be unpopular and could blow up the world.

“Never mind said POTUS, that’ll teach them not to mess with me. Someone else has resigned? Who? That’s OK I know a guy who can do great deals. Maybe I’ll give him the contract for a new wall round the White House”

Was our communications chief Sarah Huckerbee Sanders sacked? “I think she did a fantastic job” says Trump, “she saw through all that fake news and made up a lot of her own. That’s what I call a smart lady, she has a nice ass too. Whoops! shouldn’t have said that. She’ll make a great Governor maybe President one day!”

Meanwhile White House counsel Kellyanne Conway has attracted the ire of Special Counsel for bashing political adversaries of Trump thus violating her role as a member of the impartial Head of States team and the Hatch Act. “Nonsense, she just said democrats are stupid and crooked, nothing wrong with that.”

“What’s the Hatch Act?” said POTUS, ” I can do what I like, and I like Kellyanne, don’t take that the wrong way now. Any way what’s more important, is where the Ferris Wheel goes. On Friday we’re going to have a great time with steaks and picnics and lots of politicians, all taking my hospitality, maybe I can pick up some tips on what to do if Iran stops any more oils ships – you never know, at least I don’t”